The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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