Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
