i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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