DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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