In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
