hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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