Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
