you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
