Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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