If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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