is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My dad just said "fuck circus"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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