fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
