so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I've blown a few things in my day
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
