omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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