we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
