His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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