Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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