his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
