Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
