Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I had to cum in my sink.
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