Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The struggles of a small town man whore
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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