somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Randomize
