I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
