Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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