I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
