I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
