I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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