you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
