Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
