that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
