Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
