bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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