Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Bring me that man meat
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
