His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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