Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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