But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
