to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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