She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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