Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
