i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
