Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
