Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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