We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
