i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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