if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
