I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
