her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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