We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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