"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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