You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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