i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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