You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
