I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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