If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm always down for nudity.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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